I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
