Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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