come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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