take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
