I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
