Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
