Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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