I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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