i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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