If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
