HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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