Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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