Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
