Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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