There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
