I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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