I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he puts the penis in happiness.
it was like eating out sand paper
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
