i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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