Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
