What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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