Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize