I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
