My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
