Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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