Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
