3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
