sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
