whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize