a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He felt like a one man threesome
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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