My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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