Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
