Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
