I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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