I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
