its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
