Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
