3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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