He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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