I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
