he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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