You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
