didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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