seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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