The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
home. puking in laundry basket.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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