we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you had me at cake vodka
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
