"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
How's work?
Spinning.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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