Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
