Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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