You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
