I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
