He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Welp...herpes.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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