I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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