She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
