I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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