Your mouth is God's brothel.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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