We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
