Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
